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Posts Tagged ‘EU referendum’

No hard feelings, says PM as third Tory rebel dies in mysterious circumstances

off to get a sinister pair of glasses in the morningClive Tuck is reported to have driven his car off a cliff at a secluded beauty spot after first lashing his hands to the wheel and consuming an entire bottle of whiskey.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2014
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UK can ‘basically pack up now’ after Qatada deportation, Murray win

The prime minister David Cameron has suggested that, after Abu Qatada’s deportion and now Andy Murray’s Wimbledon victory, the United Kingdom has completed everything that was left to do and can now pack up and go home.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2013
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‘I heard Feldman not saying it,’ claims Grant Shapps

‘I distinctly heard him not say it, and in fact on the way home I clearly recall saying to my wife, “It’s a good thing Lord Feldman didn’t call our activists ‘swivel-eyed loons’ at today’s event”.’

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Posted: May 20th, 2013
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Samantha Cameron to renegotiate terms of her marriage, offer kids in/out vote

wants to be in with Dave, but not run by DaveAfter years of being dictated to by her seemingly unaccountable husband, Samantha Cameron has announced her intention to renegotiate the terms of her marriage and, if the talks go well, will then offer her children an ‘in/out’ referendum.

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2013
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Europe demands return of British ‘war time spirit’

A group of influential European politicians has called for the return of Britain’s ‘war time spirit’. Spokesman for the group, German MEP Hans Kirsch, said that he hoped the country could see a way through the deprivations it was now suffering at the hands of the EU by “keeping a brave face on it”, “getting by” and absolutely “not grumbling”. And of course, not leaving the EU.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2013
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