NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘EU’

Cameron slams EU diseases as un-British

David Cameron has raised concerns over the quality of EU diseases and called on member states to follow the UK’s lead with such ‘splendid’ infections as whooping cough, chicken pox and scrofula. He singled out syphilis and bubonic plague as ‘shoddy and mean spirited’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Spain snaps-up disused ‘Go Home Vans’ to rid Costa Del Sol of ‘annoying English’

Nobody expected the Spanish exposition ‘They’re just really rubbish tourists; they can’t even tan properly.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
More from From The Archives



Tories to stop Santa migration by Christmas

nothing at all to declare, apart from 65 million bottles of Baileys David Cameron has announced plans to curb the flood of European migrant workers, specifically mythological 4th-century Greek bishops, from invading our homes. The Prime Minister has promised to apply an ‘emergency brake’ on rotund present-givers who have been sneaking across our borders with the aid of a magical flying sleigh and a blithe disregard for passport control.

A Home Office spokeswoman said: ‘We need to beware of Greeks bearing gifts – or pretty much anyone from Eastern Europe – smelling of mince pies. We can’t just have quasi-mystical figures coming over here, parking their clapped-out reindeer wherever they want, stealing our low-wage jobs – jobs which could easily be filled by a British Druid or Boggart – and blackmailing hard-working British families into plying them with sherry.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 20th, 2014
More from UK News



EU to limit the ‘vast emptiness of space’ by 2017

Buoyed by recent success in banning sale or import of all useful vacuum cleaners from September 2014, EU leaders are setting their sights higher from 2017.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘I hate all foreigners and will go for a pint with everyone’, shouts Clegg

In a remarkable shift in opinion, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has renounced his stance against the UK leaving Europe, declaring openly that he ‘dislikes all foreigners’, and will happily go for a pint with everyone, ‘providing the ale is British’.

Read more >

Posted: May 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief