Cosmonauts Nick Hague and Alexey Ovchinin have been slated for recklessly abandoning the security of their Soyuz launch rocket after a minor incident and heading off in an unknown direction, with no clear plan of which country or countries they might have to deal with. [read...]
Theresa May has announced that some obscure MP who you really don’t need to bother looking up is to be its first Minister for National Suicide Prevention. The appointment was revealed to coincide with World Mental Health Day, [read...]
The plan, codenamed Caper Time, will involve driving red, white and blue minis to the European Central Bank in Milan, filling them with gold bars and making an escape.
An early suggestion to sabotage Milan’s traffic lights to cause chaos was replaced with a plan just to let Italians drive the way they do anyway. [read...]