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Posts Tagged ‘EU’

Cameron claims his threat to disembowel anyone voting no ‘was misinterpreted’

‘I was misinterpreted,’ insisted the Prime Minister today regarding his statement that ‘any Conservative MP who dares to vote to leave the EU will have their stomach pulled out through their throat and reinserted up their bumhole.’

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2015
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British porn industry to hold EU mass debate

in Europe, but not dominated by EuropeThe British porn industry has revealed that it will hold its own in-out debate ahead of the EU referendum in 2017.

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Posted: May 23rd, 2015
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‘Mr Straight Banana’ to revive UKIP campaign

In an attempt to rejuvenate their stumbling general election campaign, UKIP have unleashed their secret weapon. ‘Mr Straight Banana’, who is eight foot tall and bright yellow, will accompany UKIP candidates to key marginals in the South-East.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2015
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Farage denounces Peppa Pig as EU propaganda

halal, kosher, let's not get into that...Nigel Farage has once again given voice to the unspoken thoughts of the majority by claiming children’s television is being infiltrated by EU propaganda. ‘Our children are being brainwashed,’ he said. ‘They don’t have a chance – by the time they’re old enough to vote, they think it’s perfectly normal to know what halloumi is.’

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2015
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Decisive EU warning on Crimea: ‘Eurovision will be really awkward this year’

Anything but Boom Bang-a-Bang, pleaseEuropean Union leaders have made their first common statement on the Ukraine crisis, warning Russia that its actions leave them no choice but to be ‘really, really frosty’ at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2015
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