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Posts Tagged ‘European Union’

Bonfire night celebrations after discovery of Tory plans to destroy European Parliament

a night to celebrate, every year, for at least 400 yearsEuropeans took to the streets in celebration today after foiling a daring plot by the Conservative Party to ‘completely eradicate’ the European Parliament.

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2013
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Catholic Church makes early withdrawal from contraception forum

European leaders have failed to reach agreement on a forum at contraception in the Dutch Capital, Den Haag. The event had a mixed reception from the start and was overshadowed by the Vatican representative’s withdrawal just before the climax, uttering a hurried ‘Sorry, I have to shoot’.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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UK ‘not united or a kingdom’, says EU

‘The Scots hate everyone else, the English hate the Scots, according to Nigel Farage, the Irish hate each other and the Welsh – well, heaven knows what they think at the best of times,’ ruled a Franco-German team of judges. ‘And anyway, you haven’t got a king.’

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2013
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Millions of Romanians, Bulgarians preparing to ‘avoid UK like the plague’

too much effort to fix itFears of a huge influx of immigrants from Romania and Bulgaria have given way to indignation after a poll showed workers from the two countries are preparing to ‘avoid Britain like the plague’, when movement restrictions are eased later this year.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2013
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Mobsters bemoan new EU ‘opt-in assassination’ clause

Mobsters, hit-men, and serial assassins have joined forces to condemn new European Union regulations which prohibit any persons that have a ‘beef with the boss’ being ‘checked into the wooden Waldorf’ unless they have given their express written permission in triplicate first.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2012
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