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Posts Tagged ‘Expenses Scandal’

UK schools to revert to Roman numerals, announces Gove

In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.

The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2013
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US politicians to offer ‘effective corruption training’ to UK MPs

A delegation of US and Italian politicians have launched a high-profile conference in London to teach British politicians how to stop fannying about claiming Commons expenses for gardening costs, and switch to proper corruption like dumping your ex-lover’s body in the local river and then having the judge trying you shot by a hitman.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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MPs demonstrate at universities over cut in expenses

In a remarkable tit-for-tat manoeuvre, MPs gathered yesterday at universities across the country to protest at the reduced monies they will be able claim through the MPs’ expenses scheme.

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2010
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Commons scandal as truanting MPs found using inflatable replacements

It has emerged that MPs are regularly failing to attend Parliament, concealing their absence by positioning inflatable lookalike dummies in their seats.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2010
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Lord Lucan claims nanny killing covered by parliamentary privilege

In a shock reappearance at the Houses of Parliament the 7th Earl of Lucan told a packed press conference, ‘I have absolutely nothing to hide. I murdered that nanny in good faith.’

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2010
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