The Queen has hit back after being dragged into the financial scandal of having £10 million of her wealth held in offshore havens. Her Majesty told the gathered press at Buckingham Palace that one does what one fucking well wants with one’s cash and furthermore tax was invented in the first place to pay for royal expenses. [read...]
In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.
The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD. [read...]
A delegation of US and Italian politicians have launched a high-profile conference in London to teach British politicians how to stop fannying about claiming Commons expenses for gardening costs, and switch to proper corruption like dumping your ex-lover’s body in the local river and then having the judge trying you shot by a hitman. [read...]
In a remarkable tit-for-tat manoeuvre, MPs gathered yesterday at universities across the country to protest at the reduced monies they will be able claim through the MPs’ expenses scheme. [read...]
It has emerged that MPs are regularly failing to attend Parliament, concealing their absence by positioning inflatable lookalike dummies in their seats. [read...]