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Posts Tagged ‘FA’

England refuse to win the World Cup in protest

they think it's all over...In a bold statement of principle, the English Football Association has agreed to forego any chance of winning a trophy in order to pressure FIFA into reforming. Despite knowing that any team with Chris Smalling in it is bound to achieve Euro and World glory, the FA has insisted we will turn our back on this ‘dead cert’ unless Qatar relocates to the North Pole, FIFA rejects their Mob accountancy and Sepp Blatter admits he is Keyser Söze.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2014
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Referees to use nail guns to keep feet behind vanishing foam

The FA will ensure that Premier League referees will be better equipped to handle encroachment at free-kicks for the coming season, with the introduction of ‘heavy-duty nail guns’, Chief Executive Richard Scudamore announced today.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2014
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Ice-fall woman, 90, accused of diving by off-duty referee

‘Players these days go down at the slightest contact, so I gave her one of those looks and gestured to her to get up. There was no-one near her at the time. In my view it was a dive, pure and simple.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2012
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Wanted: Experienced football manager for untenable position

Managing a team of arrogant millionaires, with egos even bigger than their houses, you will be expected to deliver outstanding results against superior opposition. You should generally try to give the impression that you are somehow earning your massive salary.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2012
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John Terry to be stripped of his strip

Football fans are bracing themselves at the thought of former England captain John Terry playing naked.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2012
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