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Don’t blame us for this clusterf*ck, say all fish
Now, I’m a fish and I know that risking mass economic harm on the country based on some superficial flag-waving toss around fish remaining British is complete bollocks. [read...]
Tagged Farage
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Vaccine not being made in the UK because “we’re a much better country”
Gavin Williamson has doubled down on his statement that the UK has approved the Pfizer vaccine first because “we’re much a better country”. He said that not only is rushing the approval process to get first dibs on the drugs an indicator of a top-quality country, [read...]
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Trump gifts Farage Idaho
The President-erect has rewarded Nigel Farage, the People’s Prime Minister, with a significant portion of real estate and the keys to Ivana Trump. Addressing a packed crowd of cowering press, Mr. Trump said: ‘To thank Mr Farage for being a really great guy and good people, [read...]
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Laura Kuenssberg to share bubble-bath with Nigel Farage
Tim Davie, not actually Director General of the BBC yet, said: ‘We have to follow stringent bias regulations in our reporting. This means that whoever is most vociferous in accusing us of left-wing bias and threatens us with legal action, [read...]
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Brexit Party to patrol English Channel in armoured pedalos
Nigel Farage today detailed his party’s response to the recent rise in migrants trying to cross the channel, by unveiling a fleet of militarised, patriotic pedalos that will set sail later this week. [read...]