We recognise that we’re getting on a bit, and the logistics of delivering presents to children the length and breadth of the planet in one night is becoming increasingly difficult. [read...]
To an unprecedented clamour of outrage from parents across the land it has been announced by Bernard, Santa’s Head Elf, that because of Brexit Santa has signed a deal outsourcing the UK leg of his traditional Christmas Eve delivery round to a consortium of couriers comprising of Yodel, [read...]
It has been announced that Christmas will not take place this year, following the tragic death of Father Christmas in a shooting incident in Montgomery, Alabama. Gun enthusiast and NRA member Cletus Washington III told reporters that he had opened fire in self-defence after hearing an intruder in his kitchen. [read...]
There was an awkward moment on the campaign trail today when children at a primary school in Bristol told Jeremy Corbyn that they believed the story he read to them about a talking mouse but that the one about him becoming Prime Minister was just too silly. [read...]
The Devil (commonly known as Old Nick) and Father Christmas (AKA Saint Nick) have written a joint letter to the Times stating ‘Neither of us is the other’.
‘This has been an embarrassment for years,’ grumbled the usually genial philanthropist. [read...]