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Posts Tagged ‘FIFA’

ISIS opens first effigy superstore

'almost as active as the real thing!'The widely reported perception of ISIS as ‘more sophisticated than your average Jihadi movement’ received a further boost today with the so-called ‘Islamic Caliphate’ opening its first effigy superstore in Mosul under the ‘Effigy Warehouse’ brand.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2014
More from Faith, World News



Unguarded moment confirms Gerrard now officially ‘Creature of the Night’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
More from Sport, World News



Ref’s vanishing spray is whipped cream, claims Webb

FIFA super-ref Howard Webb has revealed that the new ‘vanishing spray’ he’s been issued with for this year’s World Cup to help make free kicks fairer is indistinguishable from whipped cream, and just as tasty.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2014
More from News In Brief



NATO to bomb FIFA

Colonel BlatterThe UN Security Council has agreed to use ‘all necessary means’ to end tyranny at the heart of football.

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Posted: May 30th, 2014
More from From The Archives