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Football season to be completed on FIFA
“What everyone is dying to know,” said game-developer Matty Parker, “Is whether Deli Alli will be quite as disappointing in virtual reality as he has been in real life this season.” [read...]
Tagged FIFA
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Assistant Referee still self-identifies as a ‘Linesman’
UEFA have come under fire for discriminating against ‘linespeople’ and their right to just focus on throw-ins and corners. Since 1996, Graham Pollock (47) has had to live the lie of ‘assisting’ the referee, instead of doing what he loves best – running up and down the touchline, [read...]
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England to appeal ‘no deal’ World Cup loss
The Football Association has announced plans to appeal the result of the 2018 World Cup on the sole ground that no ‘deal’ was reached. The FA’s chief negotiator, Mr Andrew Andrews, has confirmed: ‘We do not recognise this news of an English defeat in the absence of a deal. [read...]
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Football denied entry to UK by Home Office Officials
A Home Office official stated that “we no longer hold any records of Football’s British citizenship, as all historical records of this kind were destroyed under the orders of a former Home Secretary at some time between 2010 and 2016″. [read...]
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Newsbiscuit’s guide to the World Cup
Group of dearth: the one with England in it Atmosphere in the England camp: An unobservable but crucial substance, with the capacity to animate pundits for an hour at a time. Typically very good for up to two weeks but known to dissolve and disintegrate in latter stages ‘The lad’s done tremendous there’: The player… [read...]