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Posts Tagged ‘FIFA’

Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
More from Sport, World News



Ref’s vanishing spray is whipped cream, claims Webb

FIFA super-ref Howard Webb has revealed that the new ‘vanishing spray’ he’s been issued with for this year’s World Cup to help make free kicks fairer is indistinguishable from whipped cream, and just as tasty.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Summer World Cup back on: Qatar to cool temperatures with gay marriages

2022 World Cup hosts Qatar have decided to allow ‘a small number’ of gay marriages in an attempt to bring some moderate winds and light rainfall so that the competition can be held in the summer, inspired by the ravings of UKIP councillor David Silvester.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Qatar ‘will be moved’ to hold Qatar World Cup, says Fifa official

Fifa has played down claims from its own general secretary that the 2022 World Cup can take place in Qatar only if the country is transported, sandbag by sandbag, somewhere else.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Qatar awarded 2022 World Sauna Cup

The international governing body for competitive Sauna, FISA, has surprisingly selected Qatar to hold the prestigious Sauna World Championships in 2022 despite hot favourites Norway already having extensive, world-class facilities in place.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2013
More from News In Brief