Alongside North Sea haddock, opinions put forward by Nicola Sturgeon are no longer feasible and any promise sounds distinctly ‘fishy’. Mrs. Sturgeon has been serving up ‘deep-fried codswallop’ for many years, but now the Marine Conservation Society (MCS) has said that Independence is ‘off the menu’. [read...]
A leak of toxic sewage from the 2014 Glastonbury Festival, known to have killed many fish in a nearby lake, has been identified as Coldplay. Experts have confirmed that blandness and self-satisfaction levels have now returned almost to normal. [read...]
Scotland’s new first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has vowed that she will not be continuing the practice of selecting senior SNP positions based on how fishy their surname is. Her announcement is widely seen as an attempt to distance herself from her predecessor, [read...]
Fish Farming Weekly reports that a research station in the Scottish Isles has managed to produce cod which comes fresh from the sea ready battered.
The discovery may lead to a sea change in the way cod is farmed. [read...]