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Criminals to be issued with flat pack prisons
‘Every prisoner will be told to stay at home and assemble their own cell.’ [read...]
Tagged Flat pack
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SAS controversy continues over plans to replace selection march with IKEA trolley dash
Government plans to reform SAS recruitment procedure have run into a hail of criticism. It is understood that applicants will be asked to travel through the channel tunnel in under 48 hours, and buy and assemble an entire IKEA kitchen without either also buying a pack of tealights, [read...]
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Sir Ranulph Fiennes’s next challenge to be weekend Ikea expedition
Travelling light, Fiennes will sustain himself on locally-sourced balls of meat similar to beef. [read...]
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IKEA launches self-assembly divorce
After years of renown as the Mecca of marital discord, IKEA has finally succumbed to popular demand and produced the first flat-pack divorce. [read...]
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Ikea launch the flatpack coffin
‘Can be put together ‘in under an hour’ by grieving relatives’ [read...]