A man with no DIY experience has set aside around 15 minutes to assemble a 300 piece cabin bed this weekend. Having glanced through the 36-page instruction booklet, 40-year-old Nick Ferguson plans to start the job at around 6pm on Saturday and will definitely be done by quarter past if not slightly before. [read...]
‘Every prisoner will be told to stay at home and assemble their own cell.’ [read...]
Government plans to reform SAS recruitment procedure have run into a hail of criticism. It is understood that applicants will be asked to travel through the channel tunnel in under 48 hours, and buy and assemble an entire IKEA kitchen without either also buying a pack of tealights, [read...]
Travelling light, Fiennes will sustain himself on locally-sourced balls of meat similar to beef. [read...]
After years of renown as the Mecca of marital discord, IKEA has finally succumbed to popular demand and produced the first flat-pack divorce. [read...]
