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Posts Tagged ‘flooding’

ITV4 schedulers to assist with dredging operation

‘We needed someone with expertise for pulling out old rubbish from the depths and they ticked all the boxes’, said a council spokesman.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2014
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European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
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North London Fairtrade Sand-bag shop wins Retailer of the Year 2012

A shop that supplies bespoke bags of fairtrade sand to North London home-owners who fear flooding has won Retailer of the Year for a record third year in a row.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2012
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Nation’s husbands call for lawnmower ban

oh, go on, please?!Four UK water companies have lifted the last hosepipe bans, triggering calls by Britain’s husbands to introduce a lawnmower ban instead in order to prevent dangerous levels of nagging about the state of the nation’s gardens.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
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Smug git with canoe ‘on standby’ after further flood alerts

Residents expressed their fears that 36-year-old Steve Roberts could once again add insult to injury by paddling his occasionally appropriate craft up the High Street like some kind of psychic Popeye.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
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