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Posts Tagged ‘flu’

Salads to feature ‘extra cold sore’ in the run up to Xmas

Restaurateurs and microbiologists are bracing themselves for a seasonal fusion between the nation’s least imaginative side-dish and its most virulent side-blister.  This heady mixture leads to an unsightly phenomenon that can linger on the upper lip if not treated properly by dabbing with a McDonald’s serviette, TCP and discreet spitting.

One epidemiologist said: ‘We’ve seen a huge influx of Scandinavian pickled salad coming into contact with boiled British herpes. 

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2015
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‘The Sniffles’ to be eradicated by 2035, Hunt vows

The government is promising positive action against The Sniffles, a condition said by the WHO to be endemic in the UK, and now aims to eradicate it by 2035. ‘For too long, people have had to put up with sounding like Nina Simone for up to three days,” said Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2014
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Too many health warnings may be bad for you say experts

Healthier not to.Doctors have warned that an extended exposure to health warnings may be detrimental to your health and are calling for a ceiling on the number of medical scare stories to a maximum of 5 per week.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2011
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Catarrh Hero launched in time for recurrence of ‘flu virus

WiiiiiiiGame charts the player’s progress from a dry throat to the full-blown cold.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2010
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