NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘football’

England refuse to win the World Cup in protest

they think it's all over...In a bold statement of principle, the English Football Association has agreed to forego any chance of winning a trophy in order to pressure FIFA into reforming. Despite knowing that any team with Chris Smalling in it is bound to achieve Euro and World glory, the FA has insisted we will turn our back on this ‘dead cert’ unless Qatar relocates to the North Pole, FIFA rejects their Mob accountancy and Sepp Blatter admits he is Keyser Söze.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 18th, 2014
More from Sport



Neptune cleared over World Cup bid irregularities

Pluto being lined up for 2026, if the price is rightFIFA announced this morning that their internal inquiry has formally cleared the successful 2022 World Cup bid from the planet Neptune of all corruption charges. ‘This is great news,’ explained Tharak the Mighty, one of the Neptunian sentient gas beings that fronted the bid. ‘This should finally put to bed all the allegations and lies that have been made against us’.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 13th, 2014
More from Sport



Premier League to outsource match production to India

‘The move will mean we will be able to hold season ticket prices,’ said a spokesman. ‘Admittedly fans will have to travel to the sub-continent to actually watch the matches, but the brands will be the same and that is what really matters.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Sunderland to open tab with fans and settle at end of season

‘Let’s face it,’ said goalkeeper Vito Mannone ‘the way we’re playing at the moment, it makes more sense just to just have a massive pay-out for the fans at the end of the season as a sort of parachute payment to soften the blow of relegation.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Pools panel declare War on Terror ‘Away Win’

Panel doesn’t usually do internationals.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
More from From The Archives