In a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a decent centre half and holding midfielder would be sufficient, [read...]
The official television channel of Islamic State is being flooded with complaints from viewers displeased with the spectacle on offer at Euro 2016, according to sources in Raqqah. A shocking lack of terrorist attacks on France’s stadia during the tournament has reportedly left viewing figures in limbo and satellite images show that fan zones in Raqqa and Mosul have been empty for days due to the appallingly low ratio of mass slaughters per match. [read...]
England and Man City forward Raheem Sterling has taken to social media to remind England fans that while he may well be totally shit at playing association football…he is actually a totally shit association footballer who can afford encrusted bathroom fixtures and still have enough cash left over to fill his drive with a fleet… [read...]
Southampton were reduced to 10 men after a failure to find superglue for striker Pele. [read...]
A UEFA spokesman said that although Ukraine had to take its fair share of the blame for being invaded, television footage of Russian tanks rolling towards angry Ukrainian citizens showed ‘disappointing’ levels of violence at this historic grudge match. [read...]
