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Posts Tagged ‘football’

Man who shook hands with Sepp Blatter apologises ‘for causing offence’

a simple gesture of respect and reconciliation, leaving the other hand free to accept cashA man who yesterday shook hands with embattled FIFA president Sepp Blatter has sought to downplay the significance of his actions and apologise for any offence he may have caused.

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Posted: Nov 25th, 2014
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England refuse to win the World Cup in protest

they think it's all over...In a bold statement of principle, the English Football Association has agreed to forego any chance of winning a trophy in order to pressure FIFA into reforming. Despite knowing that any team with Chris Smalling in it is bound to achieve Euro and World glory, the FA has insisted we will turn our back on this ‘dead cert’ unless Qatar relocates to the North Pole, FIFA rejects their Mob accountancy and Sepp Blatter admits he is Keyser Söze.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2014
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Neptune cleared over World Cup bid irregularities

Pluto being lined up for 2026, if the price is rightFIFA announced this morning that their internal inquiry has formally cleared the successful 2022 World Cup bid from the planet Neptune of all corruption charges.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2014
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Premier League to outsource match production to India

‘The move will mean we will be able to hold season ticket prices,’ said a spokesman. ‘Admittedly fans will have to travel to the sub-continent to actually watch the matches, but the brands will be the same and that is what really matters.’

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
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Sunderland to open tab with fans and settle at end of season

‘Let’s face it,’ said goalkeeper Vito Mannone ‘the way we’re playing at the moment, it makes more sense just to just have a massive pay-out for the fans at the end of the season as a sort of parachute payment to soften the blow of relegation.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2014
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