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Posts Tagged ‘football’

Tabloids schedule destruction of Gareth Bale for mid-March

won't be long now.. Do something ghastly, damn you

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2015
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Arsenal put Jack Wilshere on zero-hours contract

In a move thought to be the first of its kind Arsenal have placed midfielder Jack Wilshere on a zero-hours contract after running out of patience with the constantly injured player. As a result Wilshere will now be paid only when he plays for the club, a move that is expected to reduce his monthly earnings from £360K to a projected £87.19.

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2015
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Study reveals bass players ‘every bit as dull as golfers’

First results show categorically that bass players exhibit almost exactly the same level of crowd-pleasing charisma usually found in golfers.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2015
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Norwich City sack manager ahead of next season’s relegation

Delia now learning how to Fry‘After securing promotion the board now has to accept full responsibility for our inevitable relegation.’

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Posted: Jun 15th, 2015
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England ready to host 2022 World Cup bribes

The English FA has claimed they are ‘more than ready’ to host the next round of bribes, should the 2022 World Cup location be reconsidered following Sepp Blatter’s resignation.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2015
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