‘Ms Lucas has been reported flashing her values for all to see,’ said a spokesman for Sussex constabulary. ‘This is a clear attempt to expose the young and impressionable to the concept of duty, solidarity and lentil soup. [read...]
Despite raising fears about the impact of fracking, the Daily Mail has conceded that it embarked on its own secret fracking campaign after its reserves of vitriol began to run low. [read...]
Exploratory abdominal surgery on the Duke of Edinburgh has exposed gas reserves much ‘bigger than first thought’. The operation, under general anaesthetic, has revealed upwards of 170 trillion cubic feet of natural gas and will pave the way for the licensing to exploit further Royals. [read...]
Gay men have declared fracking to be ‘a bit meh’, and have chosen not to include it in their lexicon of naughty experimental sex. [read...]
The UK tourist industry is gearing up for a bonanza after huge reserves of seaside fun were discovered in and around Blackpool in the north-west of England. If fully developed the find could drastically reduce the UK’s reliance on foreign sun, [read...]
