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Posts Tagged ‘France’

Police smash internet Francophile ring

Police found traces of foie grasRingleaders distributed sickening photos of historic French landmarks and idyllic rural scenery.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2015
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France to be sent to bed early

The Council of Europe has taken draconian measures to deal with France’s failure to play by the rules regarding corporal punishment, after it emerged that 90% of French parents have at some point smacked their children. France is to be in bed by 9 o’clock this evening and will not be allowed to watch television, go on Facebook or attend sex parties.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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French immigrants ‘fraudulently using alias Charlie’

‘Thank the Lord our security services are monitoring Twitter and found so many of these bastards claiming ‘Je Suis Charlie’ when actually they were called Mo, Ahmed, Mohammed, and even Dave,” said Jacques Le Pen of Liberte, Egalite, Frenchy Only.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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Tighter borders mean Thunderbirds ‘aren’t go’

‘Years ago we’d just fly into the danger zone, rescue a few people, put out the fire, then fly back to Tracy Island,’ said Jeff Tracy. ‘Now, we have to fill in reams of paperwork before unloading the pod of Thunderbird 2. And I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been asked if there is a lifeboat on Thunderbird 4.’

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2014
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Veteran re-enacts D-Day encounter with prostitute

To the cheers of appreciative locals, the octogenarian paratrooper ceremoniously approached a Bayeux massage parlour, Madame de Pompadour’s, saluting the crowd before having his oats with one of the establishment’s current crop of ladies.

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2014
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