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Posts Tagged ‘France’

Veteran re-enacts D-Day encounter with prostitute

To the cheers of appreciative locals, the octogenarian paratrooper ceremoniously approached a Bayeux massage parlour, Madame de Pompadour’s, saluting the crowd before having his oats with one of the establishment’s current crop of ladies.

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2014
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France bans work emails after 6pm and lolcats in the office before 10am

les lolzIn what is being seen as a ‘tit for cat’ retaliatory measure, Gallic big business plans to restrict private internet use in the office in response to workers being protected from intrusive emails at home. French Unions applauded the restrictions on out-of-hours work but demanded to know how honest labourers could expect to find ‘lonely singles’, monitor their Ebay auctions or complete Candy Crush Saga?

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2014
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France surrenders ‘just in case’

Despite not being under any kind of threat, the French Government surrendered today.

‘It was all this talk of 1914, I suppose’, said one minister.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2014
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Phworr, French birds gagging for it, Hollande assures world

You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois ‘Le Shaggeur’ Hollande has told the world’s press. He added that you’re guaranteed a good time the other side of Le Manche, thanks to his Socialist policies redistributing wealth to allow poor chicks to buy nice lingerie

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
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Hollande fulfils pledge, takes mistress

‘The French people demand decisive sexual action from its presidents. And they can now be assured that I take this high office as seriously as my predecessors.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
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