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Posts Tagged ‘Francois Hollande’

Phworr, French birds gagging for it, Hollande assures world

You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois ‘Le Shaggeur’ Hollande has told the world’s press. He added that you’re guaranteed a good time the other side of Le Manche, thanks to his Socialist policies redistributing wealth to allow poor chicks to buy nice lingerie

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
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Hollande fulfils pledge, takes mistress

‘The French people demand decisive sexual action from its presidents. And they can now be assured that I take this high office as seriously as my predecessors.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
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Catholic Church makes early withdrawal from contraception forum

European leaders have failed to reach agreement on a forum at contraception in the Dutch Capital, Den Haag. The event had a mixed reception from the start and was overshadowed by the Vatican representative’s withdrawal just before the climax, uttering a hurried ‘Sorry, I have to shoot’.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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G20 summit stalls as Putin jinxes Obama

The G20 summit and the vital discussion on Syria suffered a major setback today as President Putin successfully jinxed Obama, after they had inadvertently said the word ‘bomb’ at the same time. Putin who was due to make a speech on his opposition to intervention in Syria, instead laughed at Obama and refused to release him from the jinx.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2013
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France to come last in ’Eurovision’ for the next 7 years

Music industry pundits were today predicting that France would suffer humiliating defeat in the annual event as the European public express their displeasure at M. Hollande’s adventurism in the middle-east.

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2013
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