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Posts Tagged ‘Francois Hollande’

Parisian waiter ‘accidentally nice’ to English family

claim on insurance for distress dismissed with unapologetic shrugIn an unprecedented disruption of normal relations between France and Great Britain, a Paris waiter has admitted being ‘accidentally nice’ to an English family visiting Paris.

The Hatcher family from Letchworth, Herts, are still ‘in shock’ after the incident in which bistro waiter Georges Latour smiled and wished the family ‘A bientôt’ and politely thanked them for the adequate tip which had been left for him. Graham Hatcher said: ‘We were completely shocked and I could see that the children were scared and upset. The holiday had been lovely up to then, typically Parisian.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2014
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Phworr, French birds gagging for it, Hollande assures world

You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois ‘Le Shaggeur’ Hollande has told the world’s press. He added that you’re guaranteed a good time the other side of Le Manche, thanks to his Socialist policies redistributing wealth to allow poor chicks to buy nice lingerie

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
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Hollande fulfils pledge, takes mistress

‘The French people demand decisive sexual action from its presidents. And they can now be assured that I take this high office as seriously as my predecessors.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
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Catholic Church makes early withdrawal from contraception forum

European leaders have failed to reach agreement on a forum at contraception in the Dutch Capital, Den Haag. The event had a mixed reception from the start and was overshadowed by the Vatican representative’s withdrawal just before the climax, uttering a hurried ‘Sorry, I have to shoot’.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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G20 summit stalls as Putin jinxes Obama

The G20 summit and the vital discussion on Syria suffered a major setback today as President Putin successfully jinxed Obama, after they had inadvertently said the word ‘bomb’ at the same time. Putin who was due to make a speech on his opposition to intervention in Syria, instead laughed at Obama and refused to release him from the jinx.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2013
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