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Posts Tagged ‘Frank Lampard’

Injury may put English football stars out of Sunday’s barbecue

English football fans were anxiously waiting for further team news today, after injuries to several key players left a question mark over their participation in various leisure and social activities this weekend.

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2014
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Lampard becomes latest player ‘too embarrassed to play for England’

The Chelsea midfielder joins a growing list of players who have developed mystery ailments in a bid to retain what little dignity they have.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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Alleged ‘sex video’ replay makes it look worse than it was, says Terry

After reviewing video evidence which appears to show a sexual liaison between John Terry and a woman who is not his wife or official mistress Mr Terry has admitted that it doesn’t look good, but insisted that it was completely accidental and that ‘her run took her into me’.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2012
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Professional footballers eagerly await release of Office Manager 2012

Theo Walcott dreams of nothing but paperclips all day long‘After the drudgery of training, playing, dating beautiful women and being pursued by the paparazzi, it’s great to escape into the world of purchase orders, staff rotas and VAT returns,’ said Theo Walcott. ‘It’s what every young boy dreams of.’

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2012
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Christine Bleakley switches sides; now seeing German footballer

Following extensive negotiations, TV presenter Christine Bleakley has dumped England striker Frank Lampard to become the girlfriend of Germany’s Thomas Mueller.

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2010
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