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Posts Tagged ‘funeral’

Dead man was a ‘miserable bastard’ say friends

‘He always looked down in the dumps, even when he was happy. This was the best thing ever to have happened to him and it might have raised a smile on his horrible mush, the miserable bastard, but I doubt it,’ said a friend since childhood.

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2011
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Undertaker offers ‘Experience Day’ funerals

more and more people opting to bow out in styleA Redditch firm of undertakers is promising to ‘bury the competition’ by offering a range of funerals ‘to die for’. John Starling Funeral Directors have this week launched a range of send off’s that include balloon rides, spa treatments, racing at Brands Hatch, paint balling, and wind surfing. To accompany these they will also offer a savings plan and gift vouchers.

The funeral director’s owner, John Starling, says more and more people are opting to bow out in style. ‘We can offer something in death that the deceased never experienced while they were alive. This is particularly true of our extreme No Way Out funerals where the only certainty is the deceased will come to a highly destructive end. These include the Car Crusher, the Building Demolition, the Hearse Over The Cliff, and The Bomb In The Coffin.’

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2009
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Ikea launch the flatpack coffin

‘Can be put together ‘in under an hour’ by grieving relatives’

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Posted: May 4th, 2008
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