Hot on the heels of the announcement that her This Morning co-presenter is gay, Holly Willoughby has admitted that for the past ten years she has been the head of a Columbian drugs cartel. In a statement to the ITV network Holly announced that she has been controlling nearly the entire South American cocaine supply chain, [read...]
The problem of moped gangs should soon disappear after fed-up Londoners booted out the ineffectual Cressida Dick and voted to ‘go mediaeval on their sorry arses’. Family gibbet-making businesses, who have not recorded a sale since 1834, [read...]
Police were called to the Blue Rinse Cafe on the seafront at Shanklin, Isle of Wight, yesterday to deal with an outbreak of the type of violence not seen since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters aggressively took the last parking spaces. [read...]
The tinned foods aisle of a Wirral-based branch of Asda is locked in a bitter blood feud over who should price up the mushy peas, according to reports. The rival clans from Hoylake and West Kirby have amassed personal wealth estimated to be in the thousands after putting in extra night shifts at the store’s branch in Woodchurch. [read...]
The Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn has been accused of bringing fear to the streets of Islington, after he was involved in a brutal street brawl between the gang he leads and a rival Centre-Left crew from Mayfair. [read...]
