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Posts Tagged ‘Gaza’

Television news switched off in favour of barbecue

Something simply had to be doneBritish television viewers have decided to abandon their TV sets this weekend, thereby missing the important new stories of plane crashes, Gaza and the imminent outbreak of World War Three. Instead they are going to concentrate on getting the barbecue working and drinking Pimms in the back garden.

‘It seems like the right thing to do’ said Lily from Clapham, south London. ‘There are lots of people worrying about the state of the world right now, and I think the best contribution we can make is to have too much to drink on the patio and eat a lot of barbecued chicken wings. If we can get a bit of a sun tan at the same time then so much the better.’

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2014
More from UK News

24-hour ceasefire announced in Gaza to celebrate Prince George’s 1st birthday

‘Even though we have lost 600 of our people in 14 days nothing raises the spirits like a royal occasion, if only for a few hours before the slaughter starts again.’

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief

Shortest ever middle-east ceasefire proposed

After countless ceasefires have been broken, UN peacebrokers are proposing a 30 second ceasefire, timed for 4am on a Tuesday, in the hope that this time all participants might be able to actually resist firing for the entire duration of the ceasefire, and it won’t be necessary to sigh and report about another ceasefire ‘broken’.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2014
More from News In Brief

Nations begin traditional Christmas warfare

potential for worst nuclear winter since records beganCountries around the world have begun bombing each other in the run up to Christmas.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2013
More from From The Archives

Israel to build settlements ‘up William Hague’s nose’

And was Jerusalem, buildeth thar....The Israeli government has announced its intention to build 1000 new dwellings up William Hague’s nose. Foreign Secretary William Hague says he is ‘monitoring the situation’ but told the Commons ‘further action could upset the balance in the Middle East at a difficult time, and despite personal discomfort, and the alleged illegality of the building, we think the best option is to maintain calm and keep a watchful eye on developments in my nose.’

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2013
More from World News