A journalist been held at Heathrow by the Guardian Style Editor for wearing a shirt ‘in a colour associated with last season’s menswear’. He was questioned for eight hours, the maximum possible under the Guardian’s style guide which governs how staff dress, [read...]
It has been announced by Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab that when the current head of the nation’s super-snoopers GCHQ steps down, his successor will be that irritating little git, the nosey parker who lives at number 22. [read...]
‘Opening people’s emails is all well and good,’ said Moya Greene, chief executive of the Royal Mail, ‘but it will never be as profitable as opening people’s birthday cards. Workers in the sorting office tell me you can make £200 on a good day.’ [read...]
British intelligence agencies are bracing themselves tonight after revelations that terrorist groups are planning to combat the new Investigatory Powers Bill with bulk trite social media posts. An insider warned that ‘Cat videos and macaroni cheese recipes will be used indiscriminately to demoralise and dishearten the infidel analysts.’ [read...]
Details were emerging last night that Jimmy Savile may have been even more revoltingly criminal than anyone had previously imagined. The latest allegation is that he may have ‘advised’ David Cameron. A police spokesman said: ‘This simply beggars belief and will be hard to bear for the victims, [read...]
