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Posts Tagged ‘GCHQ’

Password complexity to overtake poetry by 2020

‘Limericks won’t cut it’, said one IT insider. ‘They’re too predictable. Iambic pentameter will shortly be the minimum standard acceptable and even then users will need to show a wide range of metaphor and simile if they’re to defeat GCHQ’s computers.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
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GCHQ to encode all secret messages in Welsh

Following an internal review of the damage caused by NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden, the government’s ultra secret agency responsible for intercepting Facebook feeds and Twitter trends has announced that it is adding an additional layer to government encryption.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
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Savile ‘may have been adviser to Cameron’

Details were emerging last night that Jimmy Savile may have been even more revoltingly criminal than anyone had previously imagined. The latest allegation is that he may have ‘advised’ David Cameron. A police spokesman said: ‘This simply beggars belief and will be hard to bear for the victims, of which there will be a staggering number.’

Cabinet Office officials have admitted that Savile may have been granted unfettered access to dead or dying government policies. He was known to have an abnormal interest in ‘going over figures’, and liked to visit the Treasury where many differently-abled individuals were being cared for.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2014
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NSA gaming surveillance concludes we REALLY hate pigs

it's almost as if it's some kind of metaphor for somethingYears of extensive illegal surveillance of our gaming habits has led to the shock revelation that the public ‘don’t just simply dislike’ hog-kind, but they actively ‘loathe’ all swine and their constant ‘flouting’ of building regulations.

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Posted: Jan 28th, 2014
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Secret Santa ‘defends freedom’

Sir Iain Lobban has responded to criticism that Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) has undermined democracy, freedom and gone over budget with anonymous workplace gifts. The televised Public Hearing was told that a ‘jolly office tradition’ had spiralled out of control to include the exchange of Perfume Flamethrowers, Exploding Alarm Clocks and Portable Gyrocopters.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2013
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