NewsBiscuit

The National Conference of Drama Teachers has today issued a statement reluctantly accepting the widely-held view that Drama is a bit rubbish.

In a melodramatic press conference a spokesman conceded ‘We have finally agreed to stop leaping to the defence of Drama. We accept now that all the well-intentioned justifications of creative maturity, team-building and developing the individual’s confidence were delusional, and admit that kids just prefer running around, pretending and dressing up to proper subjects like Maths and Science.’

Dorothy Jensen, head of Drama at Lancaster Grammar School added ‘I took Drama at GCSE and all I’ve got to show for it is a frustrating career as a drama teacher. I wish I’d done Business Studies instead.’

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2009
More from News In Brief

An extensive study by the National Union of Teachers has damned the ailing quality of coursework written by cheating parents. ‘Samples taken from thousands of pieces of fraudulent coursework overwhelmingly indicated that most parents were consistently failing to reach the standard of sham coursework required for GCSE and A-Level,’ said an NUT spokesman, who admitted marking isn’t really that big a deal. ‘It’s a sad reflection on our education system when you find pupils frantically re-writing their parents’ hastily bodged coursework on the day of the deadline. We may as well send them into the exams to write it themselves.’

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2009
More from Education

Inhabitants from all over the star system were celebrating last night after it emerged that Yoda had overcome his demons and passed an exam in GCSE English. The pint-sized Jedi had long struggled to formulate sentences properly, meaning that he had failed the test aimed at 16 year olds no less than 728 times.

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2009
More from Education

Now you can simply download a certificate off the internet and fill in any results you want!

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2009
More from From The Archives

Recent Ofcom statistics reveal that the past 22 years has seen a consistent year-on-year increase of newspaper articles about exam results.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2009
More from News In Brief