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Posts Tagged ‘general election’

Plaid Cymru manifesto ‘slightly more interesting’ than Kate’s second baby

Plaid Cymru’s general election manifesto is of slightly more interest to the general public than is the prospect of the Duchess of Cambridge’s second baby, according to opinion polls.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2015
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Chimp facing prospect of losing safest Labour seat in Scotland

set to be replaced by SNP marmosetChico the Chimp, a chimpanzee who has represented the constituency of Fife South as a Labour MP since 1997 could be set to lose the party’s safest Scottish seat, according to the latest opinion polls which suggest that his majority of over 23,000 at the 2010 General Election is set to be overturned by the SNP in the May 7th general election.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2015
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Desperate people escaping UKIP campaigners under lorries

‘Our people lived peacefully for many years under our benevolent Lib Dem MP, who showed up on our doorsteps every four years spouting harmless rubbish,’ he explained.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
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Cameron ‘can only have sex once before election’

Samantha Cameron has accused the Prime Minister of running scared after he told her that he would only be available to have sex with her once in March for a single 90-minute session before the election a rather than the three bouts she had proposed.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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Tories announce plans to stop Lib Dem MPs voting on English issues

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced plans for a referendum on whether Liberal Democrat MPs should be allowed to vote on English issues. Mr Cameron said the referendum, to be called ‘The General Election’, will stop Liberal Democrats MPs voting on English issues in Parliament after they lose their seat.

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2015
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