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Posts Tagged ‘general election’

Nick Clegg to use everyone’s paternity leave next year

another great idea!Anticipating he will have a lot of ‘free time on his hands’ after the next election, the Deputy Prime Minister has volunteered to provide round-the-clock support to all new parents. The Liberal Democrat’s’ manifesto will pledge that Mr. Clegg will stay with couples for up to six weeks after the birth of their child; providing nappy changing, reassuring hugs and amusing anecdotes about proportionate representation if ‘…baby refuses to go to sleep’.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
More from Politics



Prime Minister Miliband would ‘un-invade Iraq’

‘We’ll send troops into Iraq with what I call weapons of mass construction – bricks, nails and gaffer tape – to undo the invasion with a Saddam lookalike to run the country. It will be as good as new at best, or as good as Slough at worse.’

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2013
More from News In Brief



X-Factor finalists target swing voters with populist policies

‘It could all come down to who does the best job of sounding sincere while announcing tax cuts they are in no position to deliver. Will Amelia Lily’s reduction in fuel duty prove more popular than Little Mix’s improved public sector pensions? Only time will tell.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment



Nick Clegg ‘bricking it’ at prospect of entering government

Nick Clegg has spoken of his consternation that, despite being a Liberal Democrat, he may end up in a position of responsibility by the end of the week.

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Posted: May 11th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Alien conquest of Britain thwarted after invaders demand: ‘Take us to your leader’

As coalition talks continue, an alien conquest of Britain has been averted after nobody could fulfil the invaders’ initial ultimatum to ‘Take us to your leader’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2010
More from News In Brief