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Posts Tagged ‘general election’

Prime Minister Miliband would ‘un-invade Iraq’

‘We’ll send troops into Iraq with what I call weapons of mass construction – bricks, nails and gaffer tape – to undo the invasion with a Saddam lookalike to run the country. It will be as good as new at best, or as good as Slough at worse.’

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2013
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X-Factor finalists target swing voters with populist policies

‘It could all come down to who does the best job of sounding sincere while announcing tax cuts they are in no position to deliver. Will Amelia Lily’s reduction in fuel duty prove more popular than Little Mix’s improved public sector pensions? Only time will tell.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
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Nick Clegg ‘bricking it’ at prospect of entering government

Nick Clegg has spoken of his consternation that, despite being a Liberal Democrat, he may end up in a position of responsibility by the end of the week.

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Posted: May 11th, 2010
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Alien conquest of Britain thwarted after invaders demand: ‘Take us to your leader’

As coalition talks continue, an alien conquest of Britain has been averted after nobody could fulfil the invaders’ initial ultimatum to ‘Take us to your leader’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2010
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Iran and North Korea praise UK for ‘free and fair’ election

World leaders as diverse as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hamid Karzai and Kim Jong-il were lining up today to endorse the UK general election as a shining example of the democratic process.

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Posted: May 7th, 2010
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