World leaders as diverse as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hamid Karzai and Kim Jong-il were lining up today to endorse the UK general election as a shining example of the democratic process.
Posted: May 7th, 2010
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Exit polls are predicting a disappointing turnout in today’s general election as members of the public worry about missing the uninterrupted television coverage while they leave the house to exercise their democratic right.
Posted: May 6th, 2010
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Fears of a hung parliament have been forgotten as indications point to a landslide victory for Labour with an incredible 98.6% of the popular vote. Gordon Brown has been quick to reward his campaign manager, Robert Mugabe, brought in secretly last week in a last-ditch attempt to avoid defeat, with the post of Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Posted: May 5th, 2010
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Osama bin Laden today spoke out against what he called ‘the West’s evil, unremitting campaign of persecution’ waged by local party activists determined to secure his support in Thursday’s general election.
‘If it’s not the Tories, it’s Labour or the Liberal Democrats,’ fumed the al-Qaeda leader today. ‘All day every day I’m up and down to the cave door like a bloody yo-yo. I moved out here for a quiet life, you know, but every two minutes it’s ‘Can we count on your vote on Thursday, Mr bin Laden?’ Don’t tell me none of them saw my sign saying no door-to-door callers, free newspapers or intelligence agents.’
Posted: May 4th, 2010
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An Isle of Wight voter says that she is delighted by the quality of her prospective parliamentary candidates. ‘They all seemed very nice’, said Mrs Deirdre Worth of Ventnor, Isle of Wight.
Posted: Apr 19th, 2010
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