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Posts Tagged ‘general election’

Bin Laden fed up with canvassers constantly knocking at cave door

'These fanatics will stop at nothing!'Osama bin Laden today spoke out against what he called ‘the West’s evil, unremitting campaign of persecution’ waged by local party activists determined to secure his support in Thursday’s general election.

‘If it’s not the Tories, it’s Labour or the Liberal Democrats,’ fumed the al-Qaeda leader today. ‘All day every day I’m up and down to the cave door like a bloody yo-yo. I moved out here for a quiet life, you know, but every two minutes it’s ‘Can we count on your vote on Thursday, Mr bin Laden?’ Don’t tell me none of them saw my sign saying no door-to-door callers, free newspapers or intelligence agents.’

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Posted: May 4th, 2010
More from World News



Cameron to celebrate victory with Bullingdon-style trashing of UK

it's only moneyOne ‘almighty bash’ planned to last until 2015.

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Posted: May 4th, 2010
More from Politics



‘All the candidates are so very nice’ says voter

An Isle of Wight voter says that she is delighted by the quality of her prospective parliamentary candidates. ‘They all seemed very nice’, said Mrs Deirdre Worth of Ventnor, Isle of Wight.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Clegg delighted with third place in Nick Clegg look-alike contest

The Liberal Democrats were celebrating last night after leader Nick Clegg beat off strong opposition to come third in a ‘Nick Clegg Look-Alike’ competition.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Conservatives introduce scrappage scheme for governments over 10 years old

David Cameron denied trying to buy the election when he announced a new scrappage scheme for out of date and polluting governments today.

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2010
More from News In Brief