NewsBiscuit

George W. Bush is on the verge of realising that he is no longer President of the United States, former First Lady Laura Bush told reporters this week.

‘He’s nearly there,’ Mrs Bush revealed at the Bush ranch in Crawford, Texas, where the family have been living since leaving the White House in January. ‘I think the penny may finally drop in the next few weeks that he isn’t the leader of the free world any longer.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2009
More from Politics

Employees at the White House have confessed that continued stories about the President’s exotic upbringing in Hawaii and Indonesia and his work in the poorest areas of Chicago have ceased to be inspiring and now ‘tend to go on a bit’.

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Posted: May 20th, 2009
More from News In Brief

More than two months after leaving the White House, former US President George W Bush is still having trouble putting together a credible cover-story for prospective employers explaining how he has spent the last eight years. Bush had anticipated no shortage of offers from multinationals after he left office in January, but aides were quick to advise him that for reasons no one fully understands, the downturn in the global economy appears to have coincided with a drop in demand for the kind of leadership that put him on the political map. ‘I just don’t understand it,’ he said today. ‘I thought we loved winners in this country.’

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2009
More from World News

America today woke up to the news that George W. Bush will remain US president for a further four years after officials from the Electoral College ruled that he had failed to secure the grades needed to graduate from the White House. A sub-clause of the US Constitution requires a serving president to be held back and forced to repeat a term if he does not make the necessary progress.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2009
More from Politics, World News

Al Gore has been keeping his defeat in the 2000 Presidential election a secret from his wife, it emerged today. For the past eight years he has pretended to go off to work each day to ‘run the country’. So depressed was he about the outcome of the 2000 US presidential election, that he was unable to break the news of his defeat to wife Tipper after some television networks initially declared him the victor.

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2009
More from Politics, World News