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Posts Tagged ‘George Clooney’

Daily Mail joins long list of Clooney rejects

Read it and weepFollowing in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to finally accept that the ‘grey fox’, George Clooney, will never hold them in his big strong arms.

The newspaper’s jealous response to Mr. Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin has led to Clooney refusing to accept phone calls, bouquets of roses and romantic editorials about ‘stinky immigrants’ from the lovesick tabloid.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
More from Celebrity

All women stop shaving their legs now Clooney is engaged

Massey Pre-Nup 'has never been broken'Unbeknownst to most married men, their wives for years have only been ‘making an effort’ just on the off chance that heart-throb George Clooney would make ‘a booty call’. Even single ladies have ‘ceased to wash’ now that it has been revealed that Mr. Clooney is ‘off the market’.

Reports that he will wed his girlfriend, lawyer Amal Alamuddin, have resulted in women of all sexualities losing the motivation to ‘get out of bed’, remove their baggy comfort t-shirt or restrain from ‘farting in confined spaces’.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2014
More from Celebrity

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins fight for custody of liberal conscience

Susan Sarandon Tim RobbinsLawyers for the recently separated celebrity activists Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins have reached a provisional agreement dividing up their worth causes. Susan gets custody of the gay, lesbian and transgender issues while Tim gets to keep anti-racism, Nicaragua and AIDS. Shared custody has now been agreed over opposition to the death penalty with both parties getting access to death row inmates on alternate weekends.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2010
More from Arts/Entertainment

Man confident he displayed poise and grace after going arse over tit in the snow

After an unexpected slip on a snowy path, businessman James Sterling said he was sure the Xmas crowds that saw his arm-flailing collapse and recovery had admired the way he managed the situation.

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2009
More from News In Brief

George Clooney ‘put out to stud’

Having concluded that ‘no performance could surpass Ocean’s 13’ Hollywood studio executives announced that George Clooney was to step aside from leading man roles, and be retired to a stud farm in Wyoming.

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2009
More from News In Brief