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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

Banks to repay mortgages now inflation is negative

‘It’s the only decent thing to do,” said Mark Carney, governor of the Bank of England, after announcing that inflation had turned negative and that consequently banks will be reimbursing mortgage payments. George Osborne immediately outlined plans to reimburse savers tax paid on their savings, backdated indefinitely.

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Posted: May 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Austerity limits Lloyds share discount to 5%

‘You should register online, quoting ‘We’re all in this together’,’ the chancellor advised. But hurry, because extreme spending cuts mean that these crazy knock-down prices will be restricted to only £4 billion of shares for a lucky few.’

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2015
More from News In Brief



Hard Working Families to be given extra votes

it's all about getting up again tomorrowNow that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the last day of voter registration looming fast, all spare votes will be distributed among those impossible-to-prove beliefs such as the ‘common good’, ‘patriotism’ and ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from Politics



Man avoids Game of Thrones spoilers by masquerading as PM

as close as you can get to the real thing‘I had reservations at first; I don’t know much about keeping the interest rate from dipping below inflation, but weirdly it doesn’t seem to matter. If someone asks me a question I just say ‘a fair deal for honest, hard-working Britons’ or ‘I have complete faith in Mr Osborne’ and they seem satisfied with that.’

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Election decided on penalties

Back of the net!  If that's OK with you, Nick?Five spot kicks each were allowed (with only two for the Liberals).  

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2015
More from From The Archives