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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

David Cameron ‘may not have been beaten up enough at school’, warn experts

'Eat fist, oik!'‘Cameron’s blend of smug self-assurance and empty rhetoric can only be a result of his being under-bullied as a child.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
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Pavements to be made from mulch

‘Dog ends, ciggy packets, vomit and, of course, copious dog shit, that’s what the public thinks is suitable for leaving on the pavement,’ said the newly appointed Pavements Minister, Sebastian Fanshaw MP. ‘And no pavement has seen a sweeper in years, so no wonder we’re constantly slipping on part-composted crap.’

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
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Osborne ‘is Gimp Man’, say Essex rumours

‘It must be him,’ said 20-year-old mother of five, Chantelle Smith. ‘It stands to reason, don’t it? We all know what these Eton boys get up to in their spare time and I ain’t seen him on the telly recently, even with all that Scotch thing going on.’

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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2014
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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Cameron appeals for ‘calm’ so he can at least finish one holiday this year

wearing Bermuda shorts and ready to go again at a moment's noticeDavid Cameron has today called for ‘calm’ throughout the world and at home, after yet another holiday had to be interrupted.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2014
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