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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

Scientists marvel at volume of money up Osborne’s arse

plenty more where that came from...After it was revealed earlier today that George Osborne was to pull a further £5.8 billion out of his arse to fund the subsidisation of Housing Association sales, scientists have been arguing excitedly about the incredible capacity of his colon. Having already found £8 billion for the NHS and £7 billion in tax cuts earlier in the year, it is now being said by some that Osborne’s ‘Tardis Arse’ is in fact the biggest of its kind in the western world.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2015
More from Politics



George Osborne explains to interviewer that he ‘just doesn’t accept that’

The rebuttal came hot on the heels of a proposition put to Mr Osborne by a news reporter who was interviewing him at the time. ‘I asked the former Chancellor a question regarding his ability to do something or other.’ explained the reporter.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Osborne offers all pensioners a trip to Vegas

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed to invest the nation’s pension schemes on Nevada’s craps tables. By simply cashing out their savings now, those approaching retirement can boost the economy while experiencing the adrenaline of holding twelve in blackjack.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Conservatives call for more ‘welfare murders’

‘If their tragic multiple victims are also on benefits, then we have a win-win situation’

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
More from From The Archives



‘NobNomination’ craze sweeps through Westminster

‘Often the nominee is compelled to make a complete knob out of him/herself, modelling bespoke high-viz waterproof gear that has clearly never seen mud before the photo opportunity or dare.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
More from From The Archives