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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

Osborne offers all pensioners a trip to Vegas

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed to invest the nation’s pension schemes on Nevada’s craps tables. By simply cashing out their savings now, those approaching retirement can boost the economy while experiencing the adrenaline of holding twelve in blackjack.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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Conservatives call for more ‘welfare murders’

‘If their tragic multiple victims are also on benefits, then we have a win-win situation’

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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‘NobNomination’ craze sweeps through Westminster

‘Often the nominee is compelled to make a complete knob out of him/herself, modelling bespoke high-viz waterproof gear that has clearly never seen mud before the photo opportunity or dare.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
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Eton declared ‘inadequate’ for producing mediocre politicians

'Just enough is not good enough'The National Union of Teachers has called for Eton College to be placed in ‘special measures’ as soon as possible because the elitist educational establishment has continued to produce students who have gone on to become substandard politicians.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2015
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Nigeria comes to Britain’s aid over deficit

Osborne has entered a 100% risk free business relationship’ with Dr Umaru Shinkafi Egwuatu, director of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust Fund, for a share in a $600 million construction contract that Nigerian officials over-invoiced to the tune of $635.5 million with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5 million among themselves

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
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