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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

High-speed spinning jenny needed to boost north, claims Osborne

A high-speed spinning jenny shared between Manchester and Leeds could help create a ‘global northern powerhouse’, George Osborne has said. The chancellor said that modern technology meant that a cotton mill hand could work over 120 spindles at once on his proposed high-speed spinning jenny. ‘That’s a lot of yarn,’ he said.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
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UK economic activity statistics to include contract killings

Funds received by gang lords for nefarious activities such as people trafficking and contract killings are to be included as part of the UK’s economic activity say the ONS. VAT exempt financial transactions such as arson, protection money, kidnap ransoms and extortion will also be included in the measures although money laundering will not be included for another two years.

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Posted: May 30th, 2014
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Politicians turn to the hashtag to implement policies

Now that he ‘s discovered the bandwagon for tweeting a selfie holding a popular hashtag, David Cameron is planning sweeping reforms of the way that power is wielded in the corridors of Westminster.

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Posted: May 12th, 2014
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The end of the Universe simulated in George Osborne’s head

While scientists at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have computer generated the evolution of the Universe, George Osborne’s ‘vacuous noggin’ has managed replicate the precise terminus of life as we know it.

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Posted: May 9th, 2014
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Vampires lap-up Miller blood but remain unquenched

As the final succulent drops of Maria Miller’s blood dripped from the salivating mouths of tabloid editors, staff from The Sun, Express and Daily Mail turned their lustful gaze towards their next victim.

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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