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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

UK deafness epidemic ‘may last up to 122 days’

An outbreak of deafness affecting four million people in the UK could last as long as 122 days, says NHS England. ‘We don’t expect any improvement until May 8th,’ a NHS spokeswoman said.

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Derren Brown unmasked as Santa

In a disappointing start to the New Year, the illusionist and all-round mentalist has revealed that he was behind the most elaborate ruse to be performed upon UK TV viewers. Mr Brown explained that through a series mind games, he had convinced a sceptical public that Father Christmas was real, pigs could fly and that Ed Miliband was a plausible Leader of the Opposition.

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2014
More from Celebrity



UK crime to be made legal

All acts previously considered criminal are to be made legal, the Government has announced today. ‘We’re positively chuffed that our economy has overtaken France’s thanks to prostitution and the ever popular illegal drugs industry,’ said Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief



George Osborne to bring back Rickets‏

Benefit deductible, so everyone wins!As he rolls back public finance to the 1930s, the Chancellor has announced a return to a golden age of austerity this week.

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2014
More from Politics



Father Christmas bemoans zero hours contract

exclusivity deal means he can't work anywhere elsePopular present delivery service Father Christmas has called on the Government to do more to prevent the use of controversial zero hours contracts. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he explained, ‘it’s better than being unemployed, but I just have to wait around all year waiting for the call to say they’ve got some work for me. Did you know, I’ve only done 500 days work in the last 500 years? If it wasn’t for all the mince pies I can grab on Christmas Eve I don’t think I’d survive the year.’

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
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