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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

Politicians turn to the hashtag to implement policies

Now that he ‘s discovered the bandwagon for tweeting a selfie holding a popular hashtag, David Cameron is planning sweeping reforms of the way that power is wielded in the corridors of Westminster.

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Posted: May 12th, 2014
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The end of the Universe simulated in George Osborne’s head

While scientists at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have computer generated the evolution of the Universe, George Osborne’s ‘vacuous noggin’ has managed replicate the precise terminus of life as we know it.

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Posted: May 9th, 2014
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Vampires lap-up Miller blood but remain unquenched

As the final succulent drops of Maria Miller’s blood dripped from the salivating mouths of tabloid editors, staff from The Sun, Express and Daily Mail turned their lustful gaze towards their next victim.

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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M.P.s now only embarrassed by the ‘sound of pooing’

right honourable gentsAfter decades of embezzlement, corruption and ‘world-class douchebaggery’, the House of Commons has managed to eliminate shame in all but extreme circumstances. While Culture Secretary Maria Miller had to be wrestled to the ground by Black Rod and sat upon by the Deputy Speaker in order to elicit the ‘mildest apology’, other MPs have confessed to not being ‘remotely mortified’ when caught ‘farting in a lift’, ‘masturbating in front of their parents’ or ‘voting for’ any Coalition policy.

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2014
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Conservatives call for more ‘welfare murders’

‘Claimants should be prepared to murder, and if their tragic multiple victims are also on benefits, then we have a win-win situation’

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2014
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