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Posts Tagged ‘George Osborne’

UK crime to be made legal

All acts previously considered criminal are to be made legal, the Government has announced today. ‘We’re positively chuffed that our economy has overtaken France’s thanks to prostitution and the ever popular illegal drugs industry,’ said Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2014
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George Osborne to bring back Rickets‏

Benefit deductible, so everyone wins!As he rolls back public finance to the 1930s, the Chancellor has announced a return to a golden age of austerity this week.

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2014
More from Politics



Father Christmas bemoans zero hours contract

exclusivity deal means he can't work anywhere elsePopular present delivery service Father Christmas has called on the Government to do more to prevent the use of controversial zero hours contracts. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he explained, ‘it’s better than being unemployed, but I just have to wait around all year waiting for the call to say they’ve got some work for me. Did you know, I’ve only done 500 days work in the last 500 years? If it wasn’t for all the mince pies I can grab on Christmas Eve I don’t think I’d survive the year.’

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
More from World News



‘Money spent on Rosetta could have bailed one of us out’, moan banks

10 years to blow £1.1 billion? Hopeless!Despite costing a meagre £1.1bn and possibly changing the course of human civilisation as we know it, the banking community has been quick to dismiss the Rosetta Space Mission as a ‘frivolous boondoggle’.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2014
More from Business



David Cameron ‘may not have been beaten up enough at school’, warn experts

'Eat fist, oik!'‘Cameron’s blend of smug self-assurance and empty rhetoric can only be a result of his being under-bullied as a child.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
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