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Posts Tagged ‘germany’

German war veterans wake up early to lay wreaths before British

Allied war veterans who got up extra early to lay tributes on the graves of fallen comrades were dismayed to find the Germans had got up even earlier, laid their wreaths on the graves and were already back at the hotel enjoying an early breakfast.

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2014
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‘Thicker hair more important than medals’ insists Joe Hart

Joe Hart has revealed he believes it is more important to have thicker, more manageable hair than it is to have World Cup winners medals.

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Posted: Jul 10th, 2014
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‘We’ll always have the bikini wax’ says a resolute Brazil

Last night the streets of Rio were lined with shell-shocked football fans, discarded yellow shirts and, as the year ended in 14, predictably rampant Germans. As a nation grieved and distanced itself from FIFA merchandising, Brazilian officials were quick to emphasize that it was ‘no big deal’ and that their real passion was actually for ‘the smooth framing of thongs’.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2014
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All of Spain to stay in German spare rooms until they get themselves sorted

‘I had promised my husband that he could have a plasma screen and a La-Z-Boy in that room to watch the football, but he has accepted that we all have to make sacrifices in these difficult times.’

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2014
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Belgium dead; lay undiscovered for two weeks

The discovery was made when Germany called round one afternoon.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2014
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