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Posts Tagged ‘germany’

European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
More from Faith, Politics



Merkel launches ‘Frank Bank’ as final solution to Eurozone crisis


In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European ‘Frank Bank’.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2013
More from World News



English Christmas Markets take Germany by storm

Towns across Germany have reported record numbers of people deserting their traditional Christmas Markets in favour of newer imports from England. ‘We were all getting bored of gingerbread, wooden toys and gluhwein,’ said Alex Reichelt, mayor of Nurnberg, ‘and everyone fancied something a bit more exotic – fake Duracells, toy dogs with hidden spikes, cheap womens’ knickers with the label of the shop they were nicked from cut out. The English have given us all this – and more!’

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2012
More from News In Brief



All of Spain to stay in German spare rooms until they get themselves sorted

As a novel alternative to any further bailout loans to Spain, German Chancellor Angela Merkel has announced that every Spanish citizen has been offered a spare room in a German household. But only until they sort their shit out, she stressed.

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Posted: Jun 15th, 2012
More from World News



Ryanair to launch ‘Dam Buster’ flights

Explaining to reporters the airline’s ‘groundbreaking dam buster concept’, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary said:

‘We shall be employing in our aircraft the advanced technology used by the dam busters. We are ceasing to operate aircraft with fancy autopilots and the like.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
More from News In Brief