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Posts Tagged ‘God Particle’

Large Hadron Collider could let foreign particles in, complains Farage

looks like a giant arsehole, and so does the LHCNigel Farage has slammed the Large Hadron Collider for taking two years off work then coming back online to ‘deliberately introduce dark matter into an already crowded Universe’. The UKIP leader has long highlighted quantum immigration as an ‘explosive issue’ for the general election.

‘Frankly we just don’t have the infrastructure to assimilate all these new particles’, Farage raged, taking an earnest boggle-eyed bantam stance. ‘It has been openly admitted that we don’t really know where all these ‘exotic particles’ originate and we know far less about their skills and employment records. How do we know that the minute these particles are created, they won’t go straight on benefits?’

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2015
More from Science/Technology



Construction starts on world’s largest kaleidoscope

pictures will be extraordinarily beautiful, and quite bigAfter the final €20 million block of funding was agreed by European Science ministers late in 2013 construction has finally begun on the Super Kaleidoscope – the world’s largest – high in the Chilean Andes.

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2014
More from Science/Technology



Scientists capture first glimpse of elusive Clegg boson

if confirmed, discovery could explain how unemployment got its massScientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle.

The Clegg’s existence has been postulated for some time as a means to resolving strange inconsistencies in the Standard Political Model, while remaining barely detectable itself.

‘The Clegg is very tiny and only capable of weak interactions,’ explained Professor Jim Al-Khalili, ‘However, despite exerting only a very small force, it appears to play a key role in providing the mass for some of the larger political elements.’

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2011
More from Politics



Large Hadron Collider finds car keys

also found the lyrics to 'things can only get better' although they were put straight in the binIt cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Binatone’s version of Large Hadron Collider set to go on sale

product launched on QVCProduct launched on QVC.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2011
More from Business, Science/Technology