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Posts Tagged ‘God’

Religious revival sparked by Virgin birth shark

A bonnet head shark at an aquarium in Nebraska has had a virgin birth sending shock waves round the world, and prompting a massive Christian revival across much of the United States.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
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European Court rules God cannot cast Lucifer out of Heaven

The omnipresent supreme being, God, has expressed his disappointment after the European Court refused to overturn a ruling preventing him from casting out the senior radical anticleric Lucifer, commonly known as Satan, from Heaven.

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Posted: Apr 26th, 2013
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Constant praising of The Lord has spoilt him, warns deity shrink

The constant praising of Our Lord has left him completely unprepared for modern life, warns a top reality theologian, who says the occasional kick up the arse might do him some good.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2013
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God arrested as accessory to child abuse by priests

Police today arrested God for failing to inform the authorities about crimes committed by several priests after He heard confessions from the perpetrators as they sought forgiveness in their prayers.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2013
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God to appear on Mumsnet webchat to defend King Solomon baby-slicing storyline

the almighty proved to be no match for the mumsnet crowdMumsnet has written to God complaining that its members had been ‘outraged and distressed’ by an Old Testament storyline in which a mother accidentally smothers her baby in bed, steals a friend’s baby, and then shouts to King Solomon that ‘It shall be neither mine nor hers — divide it with your sword!’’

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2013
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