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Posts Tagged ‘God’

Obese hurdler finds faith in God no substitute for training and talent

‘What with praying eight hours a day, I didn’t really have the time to train. And there was the eating. Athletes need to take on board a lot of calories.’

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2011
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God’s not as bad as a drink driver, says Archbishop

‘Well, although I concede that God abandoned his Son, that doesn’t make him as bad as a drink driver. We all have to make sacrifices sometimes. God is not a bad dad.’

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2011
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Pope denied planning permission for Kingdom of God

‘It was clear from the record number of objections we received in respect of this application that to grant permission would have been hugely controversial,’ Martin Broderick from UNCBU told reporters.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2011
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Pope groomed by online pontiff-phile who pretended to be God

Benedictum non sanctum‘Every day he would issue me with commandments – though most of them involved me sending him saucy photos – and at the time it all seemed very convincing.’

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2011
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Jesus accused of using ghost writers for ‘The Bible’

The revelations will rock the man regarded by many as The Good Lord, coming so soon after damaging accusations that his book was a cynical attempt to exploit the Christmas market.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2010
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