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Posts Tagged ‘God’

God announces end to ‘working in mysterious ways’

The move has been welcomed by some of the Kingdom’s modernisers. ‘Don’t get me wrong: talking snakes, exploding shrubs and having at pharaohs with lots of frogs, all that was really out there. At the time, no other deity was doing that sort of thing. But times and have changed and we need to look forward.’

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2012
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God finally agrees to save Queen

One is with GodAfter years of indecision and holy fights with his conscience, God has finally decided to save the Queen.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2012
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Republicans ask why rape pregnancy is God’s will but winning election isn’t

Less than a day after Mitt Romney was defeated by Barack Obama, Republicans have already started the campaign post-mortem. After agreeing that the candidate, policies, and campaign strategy were faultless, the blame was laid entirely at God’s door.

Romney strategist Karl Rove pulled no punches: ‘When God is required to do nothing, like standing by and watching a rape victim get impregnated, he excels. But when God is required to do something, like ensure Mitt Romney wins the election, he is asleep at the wheel.’

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Posted: Nov 8th, 2012
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God claims creation of Earth still on budget, despite over-running six day estimate

The Almighty has hit back at critics who claim that the creation of Earth was supposed to be completed in a day – and ended up costing far more than the original estimate. ‘That the original price was just for the Light and rocky bits. All the other stuff was extra.’

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2012
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Dating agency discovers God on its books

‘His profile read ‘Creator, tired of singularity, seeks Big Bang’, so I thought I’d give him a whirl,’ said divorcee JuicyLucy324 (nonsmkr, 38DD, no Greek, GSoH).

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Posted: May 28th, 2012
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