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Posts Tagged ‘Gordon Brown’

Labour Party to use ‘guest leaders’

Labour Party to follow the example of ‘Have I Got News For You’.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
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Relieved Scottish voters finally able to get referendum campaigners to shut up

Och aye the no!After months of harassment, voters in Scotland are finally going to the polls in a last-ditch attempt to get the Yes and No campaigns to shut up and bugger off.

As the polls open after an increasingly ill-tempered campaign, the sense of relief among ordinary Scots is palpable. ‘I’m just glad it’s all over and I can get mah country back,’ said a tearful voter in Anstruther.’When I was growing up nobody gave a dram o’Dundee piss about politics. Now it’s all Yes this, No Thanks that, whose oil is it the other. That’s why I’m voting ‘feck off, ye boring gobshites’.’

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2014
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Paisley and McGuinness brought together via miracle of Photoshop

Tony Blair and Irish Premier Bertie Ahern toiled into the early hours, cutting and pasting images of DUP and Sinn Fein members together to create a new power-sharing assembly at Stormont.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
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Aircraft to carry guilt-laden environmental warnings

With increasing evidence that aviation is a significant contributor to global warming the government today announced that all commercial aircraft entering or leaving UK airspace will be required to carry warnings about the damage that their carbon emissions are doing to the environment.

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Posted: Aug 20th, 2014
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Britain’s statues to be coloured in

Walter O'Raleigh Minister for work and pensions Yvette Cooper and the Rt Hon Ben Bradshaw, Secretary of State for Culture, Media & Sport, have announced a joint job-creation scheme in which thousands of British job seekers will be tasked with colouring in the nation’s statues.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2014
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