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Posts Tagged ‘Gordon Brown’

Torch bearing mob angry that prime minister could be given new identity

Electorate happier with Dr Who 'regeneration' modelBritain’s torch bearing mob community is up in arms after word went around that the UK’s prime minister was given a new identity after the Gulf War, and may be given a new one again in May.

‘Who is the prime minister anyway?’ said the leader of the mob. ‘I don’t give a monkey’s. All politicians are the same anyway. But I tell you this – if the bastard came into our pub, he’d get his head kicked in.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2010
More from Politics



Brown aide’s death was ‘assisted suicide’

not murder, just an act of passion and commitmentA junior administrative aide to Gordon Brown who was found dead in a pool of blood with electric shock burns to his genitals was merely a case of ‘Assisted Suicide’ under the Government’s new definition of the law it was ruled today.

Cedric Simpson had only been working for Mr. Brown for a matter of weeks when his body was discovered in the Prime Minister’s Office last month after what was described as a ‘vigorous’ meeting between Prime Minister and Alistair Darling.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2010
More from Politics



Gordon Brown denies bullying Afghanistan with bombs

Gordon Brown has reacted angrily to claims that he had ‘used missiles and bombs’ in a campaign described as widespread bullying.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2010
More from News In Brief



‘I have never kicked a nun in the shins’ says Gordon Brown

questioner didn't ask if he'd kicked them anywhere elseIn a rather disappointing interview with Gordon Brown today, the Prime Minister claimed to the surprise and possibly even dismay of many MPs that he had in fact never kicked a nun in the shins, despite claims to the contrary in a new book called ‘Politicians, and Members of the Catholic Clergy Whose Shins Have Been Injured By Them.’

‘I have never, ever kicked a nun, especially not in the shins’ he said. ‘When I get angry, I lose my temper with myself, kick my own shins, and throw newspapers in a fury of anti-press vitriol.’ When asked if he had ever thrown a newspaper at a nun or her shins, he replied hesitantly that he had acted ‘In the heat of the moment’ but that he ‘didn’t hit her’.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2010
More from Politics



Piers Morgan cries during TV interview as Gordon Brown asks about his lost moral compass

In his most revealing interview to date, Mr Morgan sobbed as he came to terms with the loss of his moral compass.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2010
More from News In Brief