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Posts Tagged ‘Goths’

Goths getting in the way of fight against terrorism

Home Secretary Theresa May has published a new report that blames Goths for hampering the war against terror. ‘It would all have been over years ago if it wasn’t for the stupid bloody Goths posting all their self-harm and suicidal fantasies online,’ she said.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2015
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Goths looking forward to fantastic Halloween night at ordinary dress party

nice to express yourself once in a while‘Without all the black and white make-up and piercings it was impossible to recognise anyone.’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn

‘They are poorly equipped to deal with high temperatures as they can’t take off their black jeans and duffel coats.’

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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Miliband call for Manson tax provokes Gothic Sulk

Manson has called on all goths to intensify their campaign against society by spending longer than usual locked away in the darkness of their bedrooms and being stroppier to their loving parents.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2013
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Disillusioned teen wakes up to the ugly side of vampirism

fangs for nothingThoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the back of the East Grinstead community centre.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2012
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