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Posts Tagged ‘government’

Hard Working Families to be given extra votes

it's all about getting up again tomorrowNow that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the last day of voter registration looming fast, all spare votes will be distributed among those impossible-to-prove beliefs such as the ‘common good’, ‘patriotism’ and ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from Politics



Email respondents to only answer first question

New office protocols have been confirmed this week in which people answering emails will only have deal with the first question they read, ignoring the list of queries that need attention underneath.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Nicola Sturgeon to ride joint-favourite ‘Mister Ed’ at Scottish Grand National

‘I rode Mister Ed on Thursday’ said Sturgeon. ‘He didn’t seem to like me riding him so hard at first. Then I explained to him that if it came down to a photo-finish with the joint-favourite ‘Dangerous Dave’ he would need my help to win and he soon got the bit between his teeth.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2015
More from News In Brief



ITV sports result spoilers to go 24-7.

TV journalists will be permitted to wander in to make impromptu sporting announcements during any programme on the 24-hour schedule.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Man avoids Game of Thrones spoilers by masquerading as PM

as close as you can get to the real thing‘I had reservations at first; I don’t know much about keeping the interest rate from dipping below inflation, but weirdly it doesn’t seem to matter. If someone asks me a question I just say ‘a fair deal for honest, hard-working Britons’ or ‘I have complete faith in Mr Osborne’ and they seem satisfied with that.’

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment