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‘The shed’ tops list of Summer 2020 holiday destinations
Other fashionable destinations are the garage (22%), the spare bedroom (16%) and the attic (12%). [read...]
Tagged government
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Bookshop restricts volumes: retailers take a wild punt at in-store requirements
Some are saying that the UK Government’s ‘roadmap’ is merely an exercise in misdirection. With senior ministers increasingly contradicting each other – and often themselves before reaching the end of their own sentences – many are beginning to wonder whether anyone has the map the right way up. [read...]
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Dido Harding to replace state education with Sri Lankan kids tutoring online
Government top chum and chief post-politics pension supplementer Dido Harding has outlined her plan to privatise the entirety of UK state education. For just a snip at £37 billion per week, Harding will corral a bunch of pal-led companies with no experience in teaching or learning, [read...]
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Nurses to be paid in nuclear warheads
The Government has promised to supplement its derisory 1% pay rise to nurses, with a season’s pass to their nuclear stockpile and free rides on a tank. Nurses will be given full access to the launch codes but have been warned that in the event of an explosion, [read...]
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One Hugh Pym to be official measurement of social distance
Every household in the UK will receive a cardboard cut-out Hugh Pym to help combat Covid-19, it has been announced. ‘At exactly two metres tall, Hugh Pym is the ideal tool for correctly measuring social distancing”, [read...]