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Posts Tagged ‘government’

Cameron raises terror threat level from ‘Boring’ to ‘Arms industry needs sales’

Some members of the public have found the whole process strangely reminiscent of ‘…pretty much every time a Government wants to justify going to war’. One déjà vu victim said: ‘It’s odd the things we are supposed to be scared of. The UK sells Weapons of Mass Destruction to the Middle East for decades – all is calm. Saddam Hussein pretends to have some – the shit hits the fan.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
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Nick Clegg to use everyone’s paternity leave next year

another great idea!Anticipating he will have a lot of ‘free time on his hands’ after the next election, the Deputy Prime Minister has volunteered to provide round-the-clock support to all new parents. The Liberal Democrat’s’ manifesto will pledge that Mr. Clegg will stay with couples for up to six weeks after the birth of their child; providing nappy changing, reassuring hugs and amusing anecdotes about proportionate representation if ‘…baby refuses to go to sleep’.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
More from Politics



Aircraft to carry guilt-laden environmental warnings

With increasing evidence that aviation is a significant contributor to global warming the government today announced that all commercial aircraft entering or leaving UK airspace will be required to carry warnings about the damage that their carbon emissions are doing to the environment.

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Posted: Aug 20th, 2014
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World Cup style TV screens to stream C.C.T.V. in British town centres

Smile!The government has announced plans to install enormous televisions in the streets of Britain’s town centres, streaming live footage from C.C.T.V. cameras.

‘The appeal of seeing one’s face on a huge television is so great that we anticipate a sharp decrease in anti-social behaviour,’ insisted David Cameron.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2014
More from Lifestyle, UK News



No one in Cabinet ‘experienced in anything’

Eyebrows were raised when it became clear that the new Secretary of State for Education Nicky Morgan, her Ministers and all the parliamentary under-secretaries were privately educated and thus have no knowledge of the state sector beyond seeing the occasional episode of Waterloo Road.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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