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Posts Tagged ‘government’

World Cup style TV screens to stream C.C.T.V. in British town centres

Smile!The government has announced plans to install enormous televisions in the streets of Britain’s town centres, streaming live footage from C.C.T.V. cameras.

‘The appeal of seeing one’s face on a huge television is so great that we anticipate a sharp decrease in anti-social behaviour,’ insisted David Cameron.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2014
More from Lifestyle, UK News



No one in Cabinet ‘experienced in anything’

Eyebrows were raised when it became clear that the new Secretary of State for Education Nicky Morgan, her Ministers and all the parliamentary under-secretaries were privately educated and thus have no knowledge of the state sector beyond seeing the occasional episode of Waterloo Road.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Nonces ‘appalled’ by allegations that some might be MPs

‘I haven’t been able to sleep since these allegations started. What will my family think of me? I can’t leave my own home – kids have painted ‘MP scum’ on my front door.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′

As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon.

Against the backdrop of a geo-political tsunami, William Jefferson Hague has announced his decision to resign as the UK’s Foreign Secretary, retire as an MP next election and focus on building a ‘start-of-the-art Anderson shelter’ in his back garden.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
More from Politics



Self-destruct buttons are ‘a needless risk’

A health and safety watchdog has condemned self-destruct buttons as ‘dangerous and completely pointless’ in a review for the government published this week.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
More from From The Archives