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Posts Tagged ‘government’

Self-destruct buttons are ‘a needless risk’

A health and safety watchdog has condemned self-destruct buttons as ‘dangerous and completely pointless’ in a review for the government published this week.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
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Cameron to give Satan ‘second chance’ as No.10 press secretary

important to have connectionsPrime Minister David Cameron has today denied accusations of poor judgement after confirming that he has appointed Satan, former overseer of hell, as his new director of communications in Downing Street.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
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Aromatherapists ‘winning the war’ on limb replacement treatment

Aromatherapist claimed that a ‘woman in Japan’ had re-attached the arm of a man by using a ‘jasmine and lavender infusion’.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
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MI5 to outsource surveillance to Google

MI6 getting in on it as well, but that's a secret‘Opportunity to opt out on page 123 of privacy policy terms and conditions.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2014
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Internet now with ‘Auto-Adolf-Comparison’ feature

A new internet feature is being activated which auto-corrects all similes and metaphors so that they reference Hitler.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
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