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Posts Tagged ‘government’

Gay marriage; Shellfish next abomination to be legalised

After the successful legalisation of gay marriage, which hasn’t resulted in any smiting, earthquakes or unusual cosmological signs, the Government is considering legalising the consumption of shellfish.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2014
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Vampires lap-up Miller blood but remain unquenched

As the final succulent drops of Maria Miller’s blood dripped from the salivating mouths of tabloid editors, staff from The Sun, Express and Daily Mail turned their lustful gaze towards their next victim.

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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Camberwick Green Gazette: Windy Miller resigns from Council

Anger is growing in Camberwick Green over Windy Miller’s refusal to resign his seat on the Town Council following the much publicised irregularities over his expense claims.

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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M.P.s now only embarrassed by the ‘sound of pooing’

right honourable gentsAfter decades of embezzlement, corruption and ‘world-class douchebaggery’, the House of Commons has managed to eliminate shame in all but extreme circumstances. While Culture Secretary Maria Miller had to be wrestled to the ground by Black Rod and sat upon by the Deputy Speaker in order to elicit the ‘mildest apology’, other MPs have confessed to not being ‘remotely mortified’ when caught ‘farting in a lift’, ‘masturbating in front of their parents’ or ‘voting for’ any Coalition policy.

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2014
More from Politics



Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
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