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Posts Tagged ‘green issues’

Thames Jubilee Pageant to include celebratory whaling

Heavily armed Prince Philip to ask if whales 'have come far?'Fans of old-time nautical industries are celebrating yet another government U-turn, after Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman caved in to public pressure and announced that the Diamond Jubilee Pageant will include a live demonstration of whale-hunting in the Thames.

‘Tens of thousands of people will be gathered to celebrate the Jubilee along the banks of our brownest river ,’ Spelman said at a hastily-arranged press conference. ‘And now they can cheer all the louder as we turn it a much more patriotic red.’

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Posted: May 31st, 2012
More from UK News


Safety fears as green protestors assaulted by genetically modified wheat

wheat now able to walk like a triffidThe long-term viability of genetically-modified (GM) crops has been called into question, after members of an anti-GM group were viciously assaulted by roaming wheat columns larger than a double-decker bus.

Protestors broke into the Hertfordshire field where the feisty crop is being grown with the intention of uprooting it and setting it alight, but their plans were thwarted when several bundles of wheat proved to be aggressively self-aware.

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Posted: May 27th, 2012
More from Science/Technology


Human race voids Earth warranty

Man has apparently broken the terms of the agreement including ‘inappropriate misuse’, ‘over-exposure to sunlight’ and more imminently ‘immersing in water’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2008
More from Environment