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Posts Tagged ‘Green Party’

Fisherman told Green Party membership now at sustainable levels

Following on from the news that North Sea cod is to return to the dinner table, the Marine Conservation Society (MCS) has declared that ‘tree-hugging beardy-weirdys’ are no longer endangered. Members of the public are now permitted to mock environmentalists without fear of reducing their numbers and are free to ‘fry them’ in ridicule, ‘batter’ them with abuse and smother them in the ‘ketchup of their scorn’.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2015
More from Environment

Fine weather my doing, say all party leaders

turn out's nice againAs days of unusually warm and sunny weather followed on from the first party leaders’ debate, the leaders themselves have been arguing about who deserves the most credit for it.

‘I arranged for the fair weather to start today,’ said David Cameron. ‘I pledge that the next Conservative government will continue to improve the weather in real terms over the next five years.’ He looked annoyed when George Osborne suggested that he had, in fact, created the ‘right climate’ for the good weather.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
More from Politics

Green Party to use ‘brain fade’ technique to develop all policies

but what about ebola pairs?Flushed with pride at a string of positive comments from members of her party after her ‘brain fade’ moment on TV, Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Party, has now asked her colleagues to come up with yet more ‘creative and exciting’ policies by adopting the technique.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2015
More from Politics

Green Party’s Natalie Bennett offers to mediate over Ukraine

Joking that she had recently been fighting ‘her own cold-war’ she has promised to create jobs, housing and economic stability for both countries with the addition of 17 million new jobs and luxury housing for those made homeless by the conflict.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
More from News In Brief

God, Allah and Jehovah struggle to agree on live TV debate format

...and what about the Zoroastrians?Despite increasing strife between their respective followers and the impending Judgement Day in which the sheep may or may not be separate from the goats and the unbelievers may or may not be cast into the eternal pit of fire, it has emerged that God, Allah and Jehovah are still unable to agree on the format of their long-awaited live TV debate.

The main bone of contention is said to be whether or not other gods should be included, while there have also been calls for a separate debate to the north, where Odin is seen as a serious contender. Jehovah, a jealous god, has refused point blank to appear on the same platform as Ba’al or Marduk, while Allah insists that no other gods can take part in the debate because they don’t exist anyway.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2015
More from Politics