Grim Reaper to restart collections in Eastbourne
After a two-year boycott of the East Sussex town, Death today buried the hatchet in his dispute with Eastbourne Borough Council and finally agreed to resume harvesting the town’s elderly population. The hiatus in collections followed the Grim Reaper’s arrest for possession of a bladed weapon and an ASBO banning him from entering the town in a hooded top, and has left the seaside resort backed-up with old people well past their die-by-date.
‘Eastbourne’s pace of life has long been popular with the elderly seeking to prepare themselves for the afterlife,’ said Robert Cottrill, the Council’s Chief Executive, ’but once word got out that the Grim Reaper was no longer making his rounds here, we’ve been inundated. Locals have had to cope with gangs of pensioners hanging around on street corners claiming there’s nowhere else for them to go, while supermarkets have been brought to a standstill by customers insisting on paying with the exact change. In many ways we’ve barely noticed.’
Posted: Oct 27th, 2009
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