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Posts Tagged ‘Grim Reaper’

Grim Reaper traumatised by encounter with David Moyes

‘It was meant to be a supportive gesture,’ said the Reaper. ‘I held the blade close to his face simply to remind him what silverware looked like. But it backfired spectacularly when I smelled the stench of decay.’

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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Halloween goblins and ghouls to strike over ‘scary trick-or-treating schoolkids’

Goblins, ghouls, fairies and the souls of the departed are threatening to boycott Halloween this year, according a union spokesperson.

‘They’re just shit scared of British schoolchildren’, explained the Grim Reaper, head of the Amalgamated Union of Paranormal Manifestations.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2012
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Grim Reaper to restart collections in Eastbourne

The seaside resort has been left backed-up with old people well past their die-by-date.

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2009
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Sir Richard Branson announces scything job cuts whilst dressed as the Grim Reaper

Sir Richard Branson has apologised for announcing the loss of 600 jobs at Virgin Atlantic whilst dressed as the Grim Reaper. ‘OK, hands up!’ he said ‘With hindsight I can see how my costume may have been misinterpreted. But I was only trying to lighten the blow with some light hearted jollity.’

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2009
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Grim Reaper realises he was meant to collect Keith Richards ‘ages ago’

Richards was permitted to carry on living for thirty years longer than he was supposed to.

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Posted: May 27th, 2008
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