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Posts Tagged ‘gun control’

Republicans urge American police to ‘shoot more poor white folks’

A prominent Republican has urged American law enforcers to senselessly murder innocent white people, to ‘free police from the fashionable accusation of racism’. Senator Jimmy Smithers, who represents Hotsprings County, Alabama, received a warm welcome when he suggested officers ‘git out there and kill themselves some white guys to even the score, and make it look like nobody’s getting favoured.’ He went on to recommend the victims of the suggested shootings should be ‘poor white folk whose widows can’t afford to hire fancy lawyers.’

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2014
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Riots as US runs out of bullets

US citizens just dar gone ran outa languageAt 1.36 Eastern Standard Time the United States of America officially declared that they had run out of ammo. The ensuing chaos has seen riots and looting in twelve major cities, as a bewildered populace struggle to come to terms with the loss of their favourite past time – shooting classmates, Beatles and ‘anyone who isn’t an albino’.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2014
More from World News



3D printer creates world’s first artificial serial killer

also available from Argos, soonThe world’s first gun-toting maniac created using 3D printer technology has been unveiled and will be released into the community next week. It will undergo a test-run next Tuesday afternoon when it will be armed to teeth with an arsenal of 3D printer generated weaponry and let loose in a shopping mall.

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2013
More from Science/Technology



Gurn control faces change

The anti gurn control lobby believe that ability to gurn is a fundamental right and that supposed problems with gurning are really caused by people making faces when playing computer games.

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2013
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Taliban to curb sales of guns to children with ‘No ID, No Weapon’ policy

Dangerous weapons only suitable for those over 13The Taliban has today displayed its progressive credentials by introducing a requirement for children to produce proof-of-age documentation confirming that they are 13 or over before they will be allowed to purchase firearms.

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2009
More from News In Brief