A crazed gunman who ran amok with a pistol in a busy shopping centre has been told he faces prosecution for copyright infringement, due to his unauthorised use of the Official Race-Starting Noise of the London 2012 Olympics.
Posted: Jul 19th, 2012
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Sensors used to detect fatal gunshot wounds are being deployed by police forces throughout the West Midlands. The sensors – which consist of a cardboard periscope with a telescope stuck on the end – are being installed on rooftops and high buildings in Birmingham and the rough bits of Coventry, which includes all of Coventry.
Posted: Dec 13th, 2010
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The Government has been forced to defend its new crime strategy after a barrage of criticism from the mawkish floral tribute industry.
Leading industry figures have slammed the Government’s ‘cavalier disregard’ for the economic benefits of violent crime, which generates nearly £150m each year in sudden purchases of garish flowery tributes for the innocent victims of gun crime or knifewielding hoodies. The Coalition Home Secretary, Theresa May, had been preparing to announce a new crime reduction strategy intended to reduce murder rates by at least 50% over the next five years.
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2010
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The Taliban has today displayed its progressive credentials by introducing a requirement for children to produce proof-of-age documentation confirming that they are 13 or over before they will be allowed to purchase firearms.
Posted: Oct 12th, 2009
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Victims of gangland shootings were divided into three groups: the first was given Atryptosol, the second a placebo, and the final group received no medical assistance whatsoever. All died.
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2009
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