Following the conviction of Rolf Harris for a string of sexual assaults, the Secretary of State for Justice, Chris Grayling, is set to announce sweeping reforms to festive Hallowe’en costumes to aid the public in their identification and eventual demonisation of suspected criminals. [read...]
‘The public is finding it increasingly difficulty to simultaneously deal with Poppy Day, Children in Need, Movember and Halloween,’ said a coalition spokesman. [read...]
Goblins, ghouls, fairies and the souls of the departed are threatening to boycott Halloween this year, according a union spokesperson.
‘They’re just shit scared of British schoolchildren’, explained the Grim Reaper, head of the Amalgamated Union of Paranormal Manifestations. [read...]
Families across the London borough of Ealing were left paralysed with fear, unable to go outside last night after receiving a visit from a group of synchronised trick-or-treaters who performed complex dance interpretations of ‘Double-dip recession’, [read...]