Tolkien academics have unearthed a draft manuscript, where the self-styled Lord of the Rings, indulges in fetish metallurgy. In the Fellowship of the Toe Ring, Sauron is caught offering the seven Dwarf-lords bespoke cock rings, [read...]
Daniel Radcliffe is believed to be ‘shitting it’ after publicly criticising J.K. Rowling over her stance on trans women. The author is understood to be writing a sequel simply to humiliate Radcliffe. Working title: ‘Harry Potter and The Back Door Boogie’ it will feature a horrific prison rape scene, [read...]
Thoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the back of the East Grinstead community centre. [read...]
Proceedings at The Old Bailey ended in complete disarray today as the long-awaited charges brought by The Nazgul against The Dementors for plagiarism was heard. [read...]
Under proposals put forward by the Labour Party conference, all private schools with homunculus house-elves – like Toby Young – will be integrated into the state sector. No longer will Hogwarts be able to hide untaxed gold at Gringotts, [read...]
