Lord Voldemort, now revealed to be former Hogwarts student Tom Riddle, was today described by an advocacy group as a ‘beautiful man’, whose violent actions can be traced back to a ‘long campaign of harassment by the same schoolboy’. [read...]
Ghosts were being used as teaching assistants without any CRB checks. [read...]
The UK Foreign Office has advised all members of the Fellowship of the Ring not to travel to Russia, where new laws based on the belief that sexual orientation is determined by early exposure to fantasy novels, [read...]
J K Rowling, the creator of Harry Potter, is secretly the author of a thriller based on Conservative party funding, according to a national Sunday newspaper. The story in question, ‘Tory Lobbyist’, is an outrageous fiction where inept millionaires maintain their tax-free wealth by accepting endorsements, [read...]
Thoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the back of the East Grinstead community centre. [read...]
