Found a place at the Welsh university through clearing after UCAS refused to acknowledge his Defence Against Dark Arts O.W.L.
Posted: Oct 8th, 2013
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‘Website denies teenage Asian lesbian Doctor Who fan claims that it is attempting to manipulate its rankings on the most popular web searches.’
Posted: Aug 5th, 2013
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J K Rowling, the creator of Harry Potter, is secretly the author of a thriller based on Conservative party funding, according to a national Sunday newspaper. The story in question, ‘Tory Lobbyist’, is an outrageous fiction where inept millionaires maintain their tax-free wealth by accepting endorsements, cash for questions, private directorships and after-dinner speaking.
Posted: Jul 15th, 2013
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Thoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the back of the East Grinstead community centre.
Posted: Dec 13th, 2012
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‘We can’t go on like this any longer,’ Lord Leveson declared. ‘I only asked her to confirm her name and position, and her eyes immediately rolled back into her head and she started whispering ‘Si a-hashii’eth’ over and over.’
Posted: May 11th, 2012
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