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Posts Tagged ‘Health and safety’

Superman to ditch cape amid health & safety concerns

‘After watching Madonna at the Brits the last thing I need is for my enemies to know that I have such a fundamental weakness’ Superman told the Daily Planet.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Method actor kills man during crime re-enactment

Calls are growing for the police to abandon the use of Method actors in crime re-enactments after a Cambridge man was killed in an identical murder that occurred on the same spot one week earlier.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
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Auto-industry admits ‘only the unicycle’ is safe

Deaths by unicycle last year ‘were zero’, deaths by pogo stick – ‘ziltch’ and death by ‘riding on the back of a midget’ barely registered in the hundreds.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2014
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‘Ripper may have used a Toblerone’ say experts

A team from the Unsolved Crime Squad say they are looking into the possibility that Jack the Ripper may have butchered his victims using a Toblerone.

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Posted: Mar 27th, 2013
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Council ban on Good Life remains

Funeral directors have requested family flowers only, but well-wishers who happen to have any old cabbage leaves, unwanted teabags or potato peelings they’re desperate to get rid of, are requested to bring them along to the funeral.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2013
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